One-hundred years ago, men customarily wrote each other letters, used words of affection for one another, and even slept in the same bed while travelling. No one would have even suggested anything by these actions but male friendship. In fact, in some churches, friends would publicly vow before the church to befriend one another. Now, however, most of these actions seem overly sexual and men avoid them. But in so doing, it seems that something has been lost, namely, the ability for intimate male friendship. David and Jonathan loved each other, hugged, and wept with each other. John laid upon the bosom of Jesus during the Last Supper. This is what friends did. Not so today.
Of course, the way in which we show friendship changes over time. I do not think we have to somehow go back to 18th century standards of friendship! Rather, here I want to discuss very briefly the effect of an overly-sexualized view of male affection. That is: men used to freely show love and kindness to one another because that is what friends did. Today, that openness seems utterly lost because it seems to mark a sexual advance. [Read more…] about What We’ve Lost by Over-sexualizing Male Friendship
